SPOILERS! But you really should've figured it out by now...
"OMG Jon (Kit Harington) is a Targaryen?! I'm shocked!" <--- How the internet would have reacted six years ago.
A lot happened in this week's episode...finale. NO! I can't believe we have to wait at least a year for the final season of Game of Thrones.
The convergence of plot lines I predicted kind of happened! I initially said that the plot lines relating to the South would converge in the South, and the same would happen in the North. It turns out, all plot lines converged in the South! Ah, and what a convergence it was. It felt like my birth...nameday!
The #dragonstonecrew and #kingslandingcrew meet in the Dragonpit just outside of King's Landing to negotiate. There were some awkward encounters in the Dragonpit. There's no way I was the only one begging for a #cleganebowl. Seeing Sandor and Gregor Clegane staring each other down, with all of the other animosity in the arena, was a true Westerosi standoff.
Seeing the White Walker charge at Queen Cersei (Lena Headey) was an apt metaphor, if not a little heavy handed. In defense of the so-called "contrived" nature of season 7, we have to remember that life is a series of random occurrences. Game of Thrones has been praised for its "realism" because of unexpected character deaths, and justice not being served. Essentially, things rarely went according to plan in the earlier seasons. Nowadays, the writers have to end this story in a satisfying way. In order for this to happen, we simply must suspend our disbelief for the sake of both entertainment and practicality. Yes, it did feel a little bit like "fan-fiction" in the Dragonpit, but this story has to end.
Yes, this episode is full of conversations many fans would call "contrived." There's Theon and Jon, Jamie (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) and Cersei, Sam and Bran (Isaac Hempstead Wright), etc. But before you call this show predictable, look at what it did with Littlefinger (RIP). Almost nobody could have predicted Sansa (Sophie Turner) and Arya (Maisie Williams) were working together to play the late (still feels weird) Petyr Baelish.
Sansa's impromptu "trial" really raised some great points. Littlefinger has long been a fan-favorite, but Sansa's breakdown of his sins really makes him seem more like a psychopath than a villain you love to hate. Petyr Baelish supposedly loved Catelyn Stark with all of his heart, and yet he did nothing but betray her family. Catelyn Stark and her sister Lysa are both dead because of Littlefinger. The War of the Five Kings can arguably be attributed to Littlefinger's sick games. While it was sad to see him crying for mercy as Arya slit his throat with the very dagger that started this whole mess, we must remind ourselves he really had it coming. We'll feel sad when Cersei dies, but we must also remember she had it coming. Likability doesn't excuse guilt.
Speaking of Cersei, she could not bring herself to kill Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) or Jamie. Both of her brothers called her bluff. It's interesting to note that Cersei desperately tried to stop Ned Stark's (Sean Bean) execution back in season 1. Does Cersei have a heart after all? Let me know in the comments.
Speaking of incestuous characters in Game of Thrones...ugh. Yes folks, Jon Snow had sex with his aunt while Bran was narrating the fact that Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) and Jon are aunt and nephew. Not exactly Marvin Gaye, is it?
Fans across the world were squealing like children when they witnessed the Rhaegar and Lyanna marriage. More of that! I never thought a wedding would be more exciting than a zombie dragon blowing up the Wall, but seven hells please show us more Rhaegar and Lyanna next season. There are six episodes left. Can one of them be a Rhaegar and Lyanna flashback? Pretty please?!
Oh right, I buried the lead. The army of the dead marches on the Wall with the Night King riding zombie Viserion. Viserion's blue dragonfire destroys the Eastwatch section of the Wall. Poor Tormund, I hope he's OK. Once Jamie reaches the North, I want those two to fight over Brienne.
There are going to be some wonderful reunions next season. Arya reuniting with the Hound and Gendry...and Jon Snow...Targaryen! I'll be curious to find out what happens with Bran. I really ship him and Meera, as does a lot of the fan base. I really want the remaining Stark children to fall in love and be happy before the Night King kills them all.
And that brings me to my prediction for how the great game will end. If you subscribe to the theory that the White Walkers are an allegory for climate change (people deny their existence and ignore the signs until it's too late), I think it would send a chilling message to the audience of the world's most popular show to see Westeros consumed by the White Walkers. Every character you've loved since season 1...dead. This show is perverse. I think we're going to be led to believe everything will work out fine, and in the last few seconds of the series finale, it will go dark on us.
In the immortal words of the late Ramsay Bolton, "If you think this has a happy ending...you haven't been paying attention."
What I can say for certain is, Game of Thrones will end before George R.R. Martin ends the book series.
P.S. Theon's reaction to getting kicked in the groin (what is it with this show and eunuchs?) is the comedic levity this show desperately needed.
Until next year! ~ Yanis Khamsi